Sunday, November 05, 2006
Roger's journal entry: Finally standing up for Ned
When I was in high school, a classmate named Ned was constantly and brutally teased about being gay. Eventually, it got to be too much and he attempted suicide. I believe he survived, but I don't think he ever returned to school. I didn't much care at the time, since I had my own issues, and at any rate, I figured it was his own fault for acting so weird.
About this same time, one day my mom said to me, "I think I could handle you marrying a black woman, but I don't think I could handle you being gay."
A few years later, in college, I wrote an essay titled "Why gays are going to hell". In it, I talked about how the Bible condemned homosexuality and how gays were responsible for many evils of the world.
When Margaret was in Laramie, WY attending college, one of her classmates was tied to a fence, beaten, and left to die. His crime? He was gay. You probably heard the story. His name was Matthew Shepherd.
As I write this, I feel so sad - I'm nearly in tears thinking about this - about how my actions have hurt others. Ned did not choose to be gay - why would he? What advantage is there to act in a way that invites near-universal disgust and teasing from classmates? I don't even know if he was gay - he kept to himself to avoid confrontation.
I did nothing to help Ned. I was battling my own issues with being teased for being a nerd. I knew how much it hurt. I remember crying in bed wishing I would die in a car accident so I could be in heaven, which sounded so much nicer than suffering the daily humiliation of teasing from other students. If my religion hadn't labeled suicide a sin, I might not be here today.
But Tuesday I can stand up for Ned. I can stand up for Matthew Shepherd. I can stand up for the kids getting teased TODAY who spend their alone moments quietly sobbing. There is too much pain and hurt in this world already - let's do everything we can to help lift each other up to the moral ideals we see for ourselves. I can't change the past, but I can do the right thing going forward.
On Tuesday, I'm voting No. A fair Wisconsin votes no.